Thursday, January 27, 2005
Paranoia Overdrive
Being born and thoroughly bred in Singapore, I am subconsciously trained for a good one-quarter of my life to have very short-term targets: Kindergarten->PSLE-> Os->As-> NS-> University->Marriage->Kids. There is always a certain sense of expectancy such that you have something to look forward to and you don't have time worrying what to do next.
That sense of expectancy evaporated after Jotham was born. Of course, deep within there is gratuitous joy - for I am more than glad that now I have a beautiful son to play with. Yet, I can't answer that irritating paranoid question which resurfaced repeatedly - "What's next?"
Next job? Next tech gadget? Next kid? Next insurance policy? Next house? Next education? Next holiday?
Oxymoronically, at the young old age of 26+, I'm still aiming aimlessly at a slew of short-term worldly targets. Life seems so compressed. I felt short of time. I felt tired.
I sure hope the early reminders on His impending coming this year would be as thorns in my life to pierce me continually whenever my priorities are off-tangent.
Renew my life, Lord. Pierce my ear again, and keep my eyes focused on that long-term target: to serve You eternally...
Pierce my ear, O Lord, my God.
Take me to Your door this day.
I will serve no other god.
Lord, I'm here to stay.
For You have paid the price for me.
With Your blood You ransomed me.
I will serve You eternally.
A free man I'll never be.
That sense of expectancy evaporated after Jotham was born. Of course, deep within there is gratuitous joy - for I am more than glad that now I have a beautiful son to play with. Yet, I can't answer that irritating paranoid question which resurfaced repeatedly - "What's next?"
Next job? Next tech gadget? Next kid? Next insurance policy? Next house? Next education? Next holiday?
Oxymoronically, at the young old age of 26+, I'm still aiming aimlessly at a slew of short-term worldly targets. Life seems so compressed. I felt short of time. I felt tired.
I sure hope the early reminders on His impending coming this year would be as thorns in my life to pierce me continually whenever my priorities are off-tangent.
Renew my life, Lord. Pierce my ear again, and keep my eyes focused on that long-term target: to serve You eternally...
Pierce my ear, O Lord, my God.
Take me to Your door this day.
I will serve no other god.
Lord, I'm here to stay.
For You have paid the price for me.
With Your blood You ransomed me.
I will serve You eternally.
A free man I'll never be.
guan
# posted by Guan and Ad : 4:47 PM
